How the hell

 am I still awake? I had 3 hours sleep last night. I spent most of the day feeling like I was on speed. And by 5pm I was well on the downward slide, so much so that I couldn't cope with making dinner.

and so I climbed into bed. and 10.30 and I am not dead.

weird. maybe it is a really bad dream. urgh - worse, maybe I have fallen asleep while writing the hell-essay that kept me up all night. oh gawd, what if it isn''t finished! aaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!